Wednesday, March 17, 2010


"You may wonder why we find no bones from dinosaurs from this era, and rightly so. But keep in mind that dinosaurs don't actually have bones—the whole dinosaurs had bones thing is all an elaborate hoax planned for His own divine amusement. Real dinosaurs, as any enlightened paleontologist—or bone doctor, as they prefer to be called—will tell you, were able to stand erect by engorging selected muscles with blood, making the once flaccid limb rigid. By alternating which muscles were engorged in the correct sequence, a very effective locomotion and rudimentary skeletal structure was achieved. Perverted readers may recognize that this mechanism is similar to what happens in the male penis. Dinosaurs were, in essence, not much more than a massive collection of penises (penii) under a thick skin. While very few accurate descriptions of these creatures have existed into present times, we can be pleased to learn that awareness of them has propagated generationally in our culture. Most men don't even realize that when they exaggerate the size of their penis—referring to it as "monstrous" or "dinosaurlike"—they are helping to keep alive the hidden truth of the strange and horny beasts
we know as dinosaurs."

~From "The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster; A Condensed History of the World"

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