From the age of 9 until the age of 24, I was deeply involved in a very sectarian Christian church--so much so that they supported me and sent me off in 1998 for a 2 year missionary trip with a huge worldwide Christian missions organization called Operation Mobilization.
I geographically returned to that church in early 2001, having married, and having changed enormously in a lot of ways.
A couple months later, my super awesome wife and I left that church--discontinued all association with it. We did not do so super gracefully.
Here's what I have to say about that: There is no scenario better than the one that happened. I'm *stoked* that we left--one of the best decisions in my whole life. I most certainly would not and could not be doing the amazing delightful work I'm doing now if I were still involved with that church. And we left in the best way we possibly could, as the people we were at that time and place.
The gracefulness of any separation depends on both parties involved. I suppose the onus is on the initiating party to endeavor to start the process with as much grace as possible, but it still depends on the other half to put their best foot forward.
ReplyDeleteBut that doesn't always happen. Often the passions are too strong, the need to leave is too immediate for feelings and emotions to remain calm. And things escalate. And what might have started as a difference of philosophy becomes much more personal and intense.
The best you can do is the best you can do. After that it is out of your hands.