Saturday, May 8, 2010

Mother's Day

My mother is dead. Nearly 2 years ago, some technicians burned her body, and the ashes got put in Salmon Creek near Oriole Campground and in a nasty cold box at Tahoma National Cemetery.

Please indulge me as I choose to link to the eulogy I wrote for her.

One of my internal voices says that for Mother's Day I should be instead writing about Megan. This voice, when questioned about the "should", appeals to principles with which I mostly agree. And yet ...

Call it a sort of closure with regards to the death of my mother.

I feel sad and happy. Awesome.


  1. Internal voices sometimes lie.... I'm sure you honor your wife in many ways, and will help your kids learn to honor her as 'Mother'. But you have every right to continue to recognize all that you received from your own mother. (That was a powerful eulogy, by the way.)

  2. you know what to do, and megan i'm sure understands.


  3. yes!
    i love you, and your mom, and your eulogy, and your mothers' day post in her memory...

  4. Benjamin, I just read your eulogy for you mom. I rejoice that you had the joy of being part of your mom's movement toward freedom. What a beautiful, painful story. Thanks so much for sharing it. It was a privilege to read it.

    My dad died three years ago. I knew him all of my life, but never knew who he really was. My mom told me once (after being married for 50 years) that she was married to a stranger. I tried to sit down and really talk to him once, but he thought I was going to evanglize him or something so he asked to wait until after his upcoming surgery. I never tried again. When I learned that he was an alcoholic, I understood a little better. He had no idea about how to be vulnerable.

    All I can do is seek a meaningful relationship with my mom, and to attempt to be a transparent, loving husband and father to my wife and sons. When I die my family will not wonder who I was.